RAY KHAN
WRITING SHOWCASE PAGE
Over the quarter, I watched a variety of Disney films from the fairy-tale, Marvel, and Star Wars genre and reviewed many secondary sources regarding the films to to answer to answer course question: How do Disney films contribute to the construction of society’s values and norms about gender roles? The page serves a reflection on the journey I undertook to craft a final analytical essay with my specific interpretation, and the skills I acquired over time.
PLANNING AND EXPLORATORY WRITING
These two annotations came from Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, when I was recording moments when Jyn reflected gender values. I decided to focus on the annotations of her appearance and actions, because they require a more profound analysis and critical thinking to understand how these elements relate to gender, especially in a larger context. The annotation connects with course objective of applying close reading skills to various kinds of texts. I learned how to observe and identify key scenes in films through actively watching and engaging with the film.
Annotations from Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
I've included the topic sentence from the summary paragraph on Spider-Man: Far From Home. I needed to provide a specific angle in the summary, which required synthesis of my annotations to establish a relationship between the characters' traits. The topic sentence relates to the course objective of writing prose that is readable, focused, and full of details. I learned the value of close-reading and thorough analysis to be able to write elegant prose.
Exploratory Writing about Spider-Man: Far From Home
Below, I've included an excerpt from my paragraph on Killbourne's Killing Us Softly 4, in which I connected her ideas about the hypersexualization of women and pedagogy to my life and experiences. It relates to the course objective of reflection, as I had to evaluate my thinking and beliefs to truly see a relationship with my life and the content. It taught me the importance of metacognition and engagement, as to actively make connections to the real-world.
Exploratory Writing from Killing Us Softly 4 & Looking into the Magic Mirror
PEER REVIEW
I've included a short paragraph in which I provided feedback to a classmate on their annotations for Star Wars. I chose it because of how I thoroughly summarize the annotations, point out specific components of improvement, and give suggestions. The activity connects with the course objective of improving your peer review skills through practice. I had to read closely for specific areas of improvement and well-executed components, and provide my input on a peer's writing which required a level of confidence that my feedback would be effective and precise for someone else to use.
Advice Given on Star Wars Exploratory Writing
Here, I've used the advice given to me on my introductory paragraphs for my analysis essay. I chose these specific lines due to their simplicity and clear direction on how to improve my structural organization. It relates to the course objective of improving your peer review skills through practice. I've learned to take every opinion with "a grain of salt," and to pick up on areas of improvement that are frequently listed.
Advice Received on Introductory Paragraphs
I provided a summary paragraph of feedback on the Beauty and the Beast exploratory writing. I chose it because of the clarity, precision, and creativity used to highlight areas of success, improvement, and suggestions. The activity relates to the course objective of improving your peer review skills through practice. Reviewing others' work helps with gaining a new perspective or angle on a topic. It can be inspirational.
Advice Given on Beauty and the Beast Exploratory Writing
SELF-REVIEW
When I was analyzing Krennic's appearance, I mentioned his height and size, and how it played a role in his image as a dominating figure. However, his stature and build did not contribute to the idea of him being an intimidating figure, so the line needed to be replaced with another feature that could emphasize power. The activity relates to the course objective of understanding the importance of self-review, as I learn to evaluate my own writing with an objective lens.
Revision From Paragraph About Krennic
In my conclusion, I mentioned Sharp and Wade's video about public pedagogy to reintroduce the subject and create a reverse funnel to zoom out of the discussion of films. I need to revise my MLA citation for the secondary source, because I didn't introduce it even though it was authoritative. I resonate with the course objective of understanding the importance of self-review because I'm learning that there is always room for improvement and growth in a writing piece.
Secondary Source From Conclusion
While proofreading for grammatical errors, conciseness, and clarity, I noticed a sentence that included "male" and "masculine" while referring to the villains' gender values. There was no need for "male," because "masculine" already sufficed as an adjective, so I could remove it to get rid of the redundancy. It connects to the course objective of self-review, as the activity taught me the significance of close-reading to effectively eliminate errors.
Redundancy Error in the Introductory Paragraph
REVISION
Before
After
The sentence is my thesis statement. Dr. Haas suggested this revision, as it added greater precision and depth to my main point of my essay through encompassing the idea of Disney reflecting and building society's views. Previously, my thesis seemed relatively broad, and this inclusion makes it more specific and requires the analysis of scenes in a different context.
Before
After
The sentence can be found in my second body paragraph when I'm analyzing Krennic's appearance. Earlier, I mentioned his physical size, but it didn't support my point about his dominating looks because he was average in height and build. For revision, I replaced the sentence with an analysis of his age and facial expressions to effectively assert my point.
Before
After
The sentence comes from my conclusion, when I'm transitioning from the restatement of my thesis and topic sentences to the broad concept of public pedagogy using a secondary source. Initially, I made an MLA citation error when I didn't address the source even though it was authoritative. To revise it, I introduced the video title and its creators before fluidly integrating the quotation. Now, the source is used in the proper format.
